One Year Later: Reflections From My First Year of Marriage

 

Just a little over a year ago, I stood facing the man who would become my husband and, with misty eyes, read the vows I had written. We had looked forward to this day for seven months, and it was every bit as magical as we'd hoped it would be. And in the blink of an eye, it was over. Thankfully, we did not have to return to real life just yet and were blessed to go on a short honeymoon the following day. We had such a good time that we even decided to extend the trip, but eventually the day came when we had to travel back home. And on that day, I was misty eyed for a different reason.

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Lessons from Lockdown: The Essential Thing (Classroom Edition)

Almost two months have gone by since my first Lessons from Lockdown blog post, and I never imagined it would be this long before my second post. To be honest, I initially created this post on April 8th and have had it in draft mode ever since. Two days later, my grandmother passed away unexpectedly, so with that, plus online teaching and finishing my master's program, blogging had to be put on hold again. I still have a lot to share, and I'm looking forward to blogging more regularly now that I'm done with grad school and am more settled in to the rhythm of teaching online.

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Lessons from Lockdown: The Essential Thing

Lockdown. It's a word I sure didn't expect to be hearing in 2020, but here we are. The world as we know it seems to have turned upside down over the last couple of weeks, and the Coronavirus has caused a level of change and disruption that we never imagined was possible. However, I think it’s been helping all of us to learn some valuable lessons too. It's been a long time since I've blogged on here, but I feel compelled to share what I'm learning during this time through a blog series called Lessons from Lockdown. (Ironically, when I came up with that title, there was no official lockdown here in the Cayman Islands, even though most people are being cautious and staying home. However, starting tonight, we will be going into a full lockdown for a few days to try to prevent further spread of the virus in the days ahead.)

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5 Reasons Why I'm Spending Less Time on Instagram This Summer (And Why You Should Too)

It's been a while since I've blogged on here, but now that I'm officially on summer break, I'm excited to get back into it! Honestly, I'm a horrible blogger, maybe posting twice a year. Instagram is where I am most active, and I have been posting regularly on my account @teachinginthetropicsblog since I started it 5 years ago. However, if you follow me on there, you may have noticed that this year I've been posting on Instagram a lot less frequently than I used to. There's a reason for that - five reasons actually - and I'm sharing them today in hopes that someone reading this will dare to spend a little less time on the Gram.

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A Year of Light: Reflections from 2018

Exactly one year ago I wrote a blog post sharing my thoughts on my future and my hopes for 2018. I didn't make any resolutions; I stopped making New Year's resolutions years ago. Like most people, I found I never really kept them. However, I did end that blog post with a promise of sorts:

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To the Person Who Asked Me About My Future

Several days ago, someone asked me some questions about my future that I honestly couldn't answer.  It's not the first time this has happened to me. When you've grown up on a small island where everyone knows you, these kinds of interactions are the norm. So in that moment, I gave the answer that seems to be the default one in my life lately. I said, "I don't know." I was taken off guard and not sure what else to say, but as I revisited the conversation in my head later on, I realized my answer was incomplete.

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The Problem With Stuff: One Teacher's Take on Having #AllTheThings

Recently, on my vacation to the US, I bought a trash can. Yes, a trash can. Did I need it? No, not really. But it was cute, it was from Target, and it was only $3, so I bought it for my classroom.

I don't know about you, but that last sentence has come out of my mouth a lot over the four years that I've been teaching. And somehow, in those four years, I've managed to accumulate a lot of stuff.

By now, if you're a teacher reading this, you're probably trying to rationalize. "But buying stuff comes with the territory when you're a teacher," you might say. "It's different from any other job." And I agree. However, I am realizing that my "stuff" problem doesn't just show up in my classroom; it's in my home too. It's in my closet, in my drawers, on my desk. Everywhere I look, there's so. much. stuff.

I'm realizing that the problem with stuff is that you always want more. As a teacher or just as a human being, I may think that is perfectly fine. But as a Christian, I know better. I know that there's more to life than having more.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." 

- Matthew 6:19-21

God has been using this verse over the past year to remind me that all these things, these earthly treasures if you will, are temporary. He's been teaching me that putting my hope in something temporary will always lead to disappointment. Temporary things can never bring permanent joy and fulfillment. Only Christ can do that in our lives.

"Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.'" 

- John 6:35 

Sadly, we live in a world that tries to convince us otherwise. Everywhere we look - especially on social media - we're bombarded with the message that we need to have #allthethings in order to be happy and successful. And we get the idea that if we don't have the same things as everyone else, we're missing out. This message has trickled into the teaching community over the last few years, and many teachers - myself included - have fallen into the trap.

In 1 Timothy 6:17, we are told "not to be arrogant nor to put [our] hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put [our] hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment."
I love the last part of that verse because it reminds me that God doesn't want us to not have money or nice things. In fact, He's provided us with things for our enjoyment. In the Old Testament, we're told that God blessed King Solomon with more wealth than any other king (1 Kings 3:13). God is not opposed to wealth and possessions. What He is opposed to is the attitude of dependence and greed that we often develop towards wealth and possessions. Instead of owning possessions, our possessions end up owning us. Even Solomon, who was arguably the richest man who ever lived, concluded that riches and possessions are ultimately meaningless.

"Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless." 

- Ecclesiastes 5:10 

When I finally made it home from my vacation on Thursday night, I unzipped my suitcase and took out that trash can that had looked so enticing in the Dollar Spot just a few days earlier. It had made it through the journey, albeit with a new dent or two. I had stuffed some clothes inside of it to take up space and hopefully offer some protection, but I guess my plan hadn't worked as well as I'd hoped. After I removed each crumpled piece of clothing, I looked at the trash can - a little banged up and totally empty. The thought came to my mind that my life is often a lot like that trash can. To maintain appearances, I fill it with things that seem to offer security and protection, but just end up leaving me bruised and empty.

It has been difficult for this self-confessed shopaholic to admit the truth that God has been bringing to my attention over the last few months - that despite what Instagram is telling me, having #allthethings won't make me a better teacher. I recently came across a quote by Richard L. Evans that really struck me:

"Children will not remember you for the material things that you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them."

It's easy for me to forget that although my students enjoy having a nice classroom with cool rewards and incentives, what they really yearn for is my love. This year, I want to invest in my class more than my classroom. I want to give these precious children my time, energy, grace, and love above all else. I want to show them the "great love [my] Father has lavished on [me]" (1 John 3:1) so that they will know more than anything that they are loved and cherished. Because that's what it's all about, isn't it? Not #allthethings, but #allthelove.

As I prepare to start the new school year in the next couple of weeks, I invite you to pray with me for our students and each other. To pray that our hearts will be focused on what's most important and that love and grace would be our top priority in our classrooms this year.

"'A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.'" 

- John 13:34-35

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Reflections from The Year I Almost Left Teaching

"I'm thinking about taking a year off from teaching next year," I said to my principal with tears in my eyes.

When I first started teaching four years ago, I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. When people asked me how long I intended to teach, I would always look at them like they were crazy and tell them I was going to keep teaching until I was old enough to retire. For me, teaching wasn't a temporary thing or a step on the ladder to some bigger and better career. Teaching was a calling. So how did I end up in this place a few months into the school year?

To give you some background, I teach at a pretty small school, with approximately only 60 students total from Pre-K to 5th grade. Yes, you read that correctly. 60 students. As you probably figured, there is only one teacher for each grade level because most classes have no more than 12 students. Teaching at such a small school allows me to know exactly who is going to be in my class the following year. Last summer, I knew I had a challenge ahead of me. I was getting the class that has by far the most behavior problems of any class at my school. Although classroom management has always been a struggle for me, I was determined to do my best and to build relationships with these students. I even wrote a blog post at the end of the summer last year detailing the journey I had been on in my faith and sharing my desire to show the love of Christ to my students in the upcoming school year.

And boy, did those words haunt me throughout the school year. Because if I'm being honest, a lot of the time, I didn't show my students the love of Christ. Instead of love, I often showed impatience, anger, and weariness. For the first time in my teaching career, I truly understood the struggle of Paul in Romans 7:

15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 

- Romans 7:15-19

I felt like a failure. All of the behavior issues, additional paperwork, and personal stresses had started to take a toll on me and I came home feeling tired every day. I felt myself beginning to lose the joy and zeal I'd had for teaching since the day I stepped into my first classroom four years ago. I began to wonder if this was God's way of telling me to step away from teaching for a while.

And so that day came, when I broke down in my principal's office - something I had never done before - and told her about my struggle and the doubts I was having. She is the sweetest and most supportive principal anyone could ask for and of course told me she wanted me to stay, that she knew I would get through this and was willing to support me in any way she could.

Shortly after that, I began doing a Bible study with a group of women on the Fruit of the Spirit. I learned so much through that study and began to see a purpose in everything I had been going through. Even though I had been on a spiritual journey of sorts since April 2016 and could see evidence of God's transformation in my life, there were many areas I was still lacking in. One of the points from the Bible study that stood out to me when we looked specifically at patience was that we need those people who test our patience. And oftentimes, God places those people in our lives to show us that we're not as mature as we think we are, so that we can become aware of what we lack and where God needs to work in us.

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

- James 1:2-4

This realization made me look at my struggles with my students in a completely different way. You see, during a time in my life where it would have been easy to look back at my spiritual growth and become self-righteous, God gave me exactly what I needed. He showed me that there were areas of my life that I needed to surrender to Him in order to bear fruit. He showed me that teaching - the one thing in my life that I always thought I could do on my own - was something that would be impossible for me without His help.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." 

- John 15:5

One of the things I've always loved about teaching is that while we're teaching, we're also learning. In fact, teaching is a career where we never stop learning. This year, I think I learned more than I have any other year. I learned that God's grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9), that His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23), and that He is working all things together for my good (Romans 8:28). I learned that although I may fail, He never does. In every trial, He has a purpose and He will complete the good work that He has started in me (Philippians 1:6).

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If We're Honest... A Non-Teaching Related Post

Hi again! It's been a LONG time since I've blogged on here. After my last post, I took a hiatus from blogging. That wasn't really the plan, but the final term of the school year was so crazy I just didn't have the time. I also used that time to rearrange my priorities, which is something I felt God calling me to do for a long time.

I have been a Christian since I was a child, grew up in the church, and live in a country where there is no separation of church and state. While that has been a tremendous blessing, it has also led to complacency over the years. For years, I let works take precedence over a relationship with the Lord. I knew that God was calling me to a true relationship with Him, but made excuses to ignore that calling. "I go to church, help with VBS every summer, read a devotional every night, and say a prayer before bed - if I don't fall asleep first. Isn't that enough, God?"

I think a lot of Christians find themselves asking that question. But if we're honest, we know that it's not enough. In fact, when we ask that question, we've missed the point entirely. You see, God wants us to know Him, not just know about Him. How do we get to know someone? By spending time with them, talking to them, and making them a priority.

But we tell ourselves that we're too busy to start spending time with God each day, that there's too much going on in our lives to make that commitment right now, that He'll understand. The truth is, that type of mindset reveals a lack of faith in God and His promises. He says in His word to "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33, NIV). I've always heard that verse quoted on its own, but when I read the surrounding verses (25-34) I realized that this command is actually given right after we are instructed to not worry.

God wants us to trust Him enough to put Him first in our lives. He deserves so much more than our leftovers. As a teacher, I feel like the work is never done... But I have to remind myself that I am more than just a teacher; I am first and foremost a follower of Christ.

Right now, my back to school to do list seems like it's a million miles long. Usually, around this time of year I feel like I'm an anxious mess. But for the first time ever, I feel peace. Yes, there is a lot to be done, but I know with God's help I will get through it and continue the ministry He's given me as a teacher.

I recently stumbled upon a children's book called The Huge Bag of Worries. It is about a girl named Jenny whose worries seem to follow her wherever she goes. Interestingly, her worries in this story are represented as monsters. Even though this is a fictional story for kids, I think that metaphor is so striking. Worry is a monster. And until we begin to truly put our trust in God, we will carry it around with us wherever we go.

Last week, I started reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver and highly recommend it for anyone having a hard time finding a balance. God has really been speaking to my heart through this book and it is just what I needed at this point in my life. I just finished Chapter 3, which is all about worry, and am excited to read the rest. There is also a study guide included, which has been really helpful so far.


This school year, my priorities are different. Do I still want to be the best teacher I can be? Of course. Do I want my kids to learn and to feel successful? Certainly. But more than anything, I want to show them the love of Christ. I want them to know each day how much I love them and even more importantly, how much God loves them. If you are reading this, I invite you to join me in praying for our kids, parents, teachers, and schools this year. If you have a prayer request, please leave a comment. I would love to pray for you.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

- Philippians 4:6-7

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When teaching doesn't seem to "come naturally"

Today I'm blogging about a topic that hits really close to home for me. Like many other teachers out there, I have always been a bit of a perfectionist and overachiever. I was the girl who erased one word ten times so she could write it better than the last time, who untied and retied the sash on her dress until the bow was perfectly symmetrical, who sharpened her pencil just a little longer so it was perfectly sharp. Doing well in school came naturally to me and although I worked hard, I usually didn't have to try too hard to excel academically. When I started college, I was certain I wanted to be a teacher. There was no other option; I knew that was what I was meant to do. I did well in my education classes and felt that I was well on my way to becoming an awesome teacher.

Flash forward to my senior year, when I got my student teaching placement in a kindergarten classroom. I had an amazing cooperating teacher and an adorable, eager group of 5-year-olds. It was exactly what I had hoped for and I couldn't wait to start teaching. Finally, the time came for me to take over as student teacher. I wrote my lesson plans (super thorough and detailed, of course), submitted them, and prepared for my lesson. But when I started teaching the lesson, things didn't exactly go according to plan. I remember thinking things like, What do I do when they all raise their hands? This isn't on my lesson plan... What I didn't realize is that I couldn't possibly anticipate how the students would react and respond to every part of my lesson. It was a major reality check for me - the idea that what seemed like the "perfect lesson" might not turn out that way after all.

Over the weeks that followed, I often questioned myself as I was teaching with thoughts like, What should I do now? How do I respond to this? I didn't have much confidence in myself and it was obvious to my cooperating teacher and - though I didn't realize it at the time - my students. There were days when I wondered if this was really what I was meant to do with my life. After all, how could I possibly have a career doing something that I'm not "naturally good at"? I remember many conversations with my cooperating teacher about my struggles where I admitted I felt inadequate and that she made it all look so easy. She always told me to have more confidence in myself, keep trying, and to remember that it would take time.

Almost three years later, I am still working at it. I have improved in many areas, but still have weaknesses and goals I am working towards. Even now, my perfectly planned lessons rarely turn out as flawless as they appear on the sheets of freshly printed paper in my lesson plan binder. And that's okay. Will teaching ever "come naturally" to me? I don't know. But what I do know is that I won't stop working on becoming the best teacher I can be. It has taken some time, but I can honestly say that I am grateful for the struggles that I once resented. They may not make my job easy, but they force me to work harder, to be patient, and to persevere daily.

In a world where teacher blogs are popping up everywhere, it is easy to get caught up in the idea of perfection and inadequacy. However, what we don't realize is that we often only see snippets of the really good days in that classroom. Every teacher has struggled or is struggling with something. I have learned in my short time as a teacher that teaching is not about perfection, but rather passion. So let's continue to be passionate and real about what we do. Let's not only share the successes in our classrooms, but the struggles too. Most importantly, let's continue to encourage and lift each other up every day.

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A Very Random Five for Friday

I'm linking up with Doodle Bugs Teaching today for Five for Friday. Here's a quick (and very random) recap of my week!

I joined Periscope this week and am slightly addicted already. I've learned so much already from watching other teachers' scopes and am loving the sense of community on there. I already put my learning to use and spruced up my blog button using Amy Lemons' Periscope tutorial! So simple but it makes a huge difference! When I first joined I had no intentions of doing a scope, but I might do one eventually...maybe an outdoor one to share some of my island with other teachers. Well, once I get braver. Ha! Are you on Periscope? What do you think of it so far?

I am on vacation in the U.S. now! Here is an island picture taken from the airplane. I love the view from up in the air! I have been making trips to the U.S. each year since I was a kid and even though I love where I live, I always look forward to the time away. There is very limited shopping on my island, especially for teachers. No Walmart, no Target, no Dollar Tree, no IKEA... Do you want me to keep going? I have been drooling over pictures of other teacher's hauls on Instagram and on blogs for the last few months so I'm super excited to hit the stores! Hopefully, I will have some cute finds to share on Instagram and my blog soon!

Before I left for my vacation, I picked out some new glasses! Here is a picture of me trying them on at the clinic. I took a million and one selfies in different pairs to send to my sisters for a second opinion and this pair was the winner. I have not had a new pair of glasses in over 5 years since I wear contacts pretty much all the time. But it was long overdue. My old glasses were falling apart and the prescription was obviously super old. The style of glasses has changed so much in the past several years, so I'm going to have to get used to seeing myself in these. 

I saw this cute little area when I was getting my new glasses. Isn't that awesome? It's actually two bookshelves that are joined and painted to look like a book. There are some books on the shelves so I guess it's some sort of promotional thing from the nearby book store or possibly a donation area.

This is definitely the weirdest, most random thing you will ever see on this blog. My dad sent me a video last night of one of his friends boating to a nearby island with his goat. I took a screenshot of the video because it is just that unbelievable. A goat in a boat. Totally sounds like the next verse in "Down by the Bay." ;) And just in case you're wondering, yes, the goat was loving it!

Thanks for stopping by! Head back to Doodle Bugs Teaching to read more Five for Friday posts and join in on the fun!

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All About Me

Today, I'm linking up with the ladies of Freebielicious again for their Tell Us About You Tuesday linky. I always enjoy reading about other teachers and since this blog is super new, I thought it would be a good way for you all to get to know me better.

If you've read my past blog posts or follow me on Instagram, then you already know I live and teach in the Caribbean. I'm from the Cayman Islands and have lived there my whole life, with the exception of four years in North Carolina for college. I absolutely love my country, my island, the people, and the culture. There is no where else I would rather be!

This last picture was taken just steps away from my house. I feel truly blessed to live so close to the beach, even though I definitely don't take advantage of it as much as I should! 

One interesting fact about me is that I am a triplet! My two sisters, Staci and Suzanne, are my best friends and an awesome support system for me. I don't know what I would do without them! 

I also have an amazing boyfriend, Chase! He's from the Cayman Islands as well. (We actually grew up on the same island and went to high school together, but didn't become friends until I was in college.) We just celebrated four years together; I am truly blessed to have him in my life. He is super supportive of me and always puts up with my constant teacher talk and classroom projects. 

There are lots of reasons I love being a teacher and one of them is setting up and decorating my classroom each year! This school year will be my third year of teaching and my third time setting up in a different space. That's right, I've never stayed in the same room for more than one year. It can be exhausting moving, but the great thing about it is that it gives you the opportunity to try out new decor and set-up ideas. Here is a picture of me standing in the doorway of my classroom from last year: 

And since I know you're probably wondering, yes, I only had 10 students (which dropped to 9 soon after). The school I teach at has around 60 students total, so class sizes are super small. My first year, I only had 6 students! I will be welcoming 11 little sweeties into my class next month and I am so excited to set up my new, larger classroom! 

Thanks for sticking around and reading a little about me! I'm looking forward to browsing through the linky and reading all about the other teacher bloggers out there!

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